I no longer have the energy for meaningless friendships, forced interactions or unnecessary conversations.

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I have to admit, I grew up a lot faster than most girls my age. Parents separated when I was in fifth grade, Dad move to another state when I was in seventh grade, moving here and there, relationship problems, friendship problems, weak immune system, and last but not least going through depression. 

This is July 2014 and I reflect back on everything I’ve gone through my short couple of years of life and I realize my life so far is a success story despite what others think. To those that think they know me, you don’t. No one really knows anyone and that is the cold hard truth. You can consider someone your best friend and they’ll always surprise you with new habits/etc. Hell, I don’t even know myself at times. 

Family: I remember constantly putting my family in pain because they would never know who I’m out with or where I would be. I would always tell them lies, etc. Sneaking out in the early mornings and coming home late at night, that was me. But for the past couple of years my family knows my whereabouts 24/7 and I keep contact with them on a daily basis. My relationship with my family has improve drastically. Why did I even rebel so hard back then? I’ll never know. 

Friends: I’ve been through a lot of shit with a lot of people. My “friends” turned out to be people who just can’t stick with you when things get rough, they don’t understand, they judge too quickly, I was too different, etc. I chose to be friends with people who accused me of being a liar, a whore, a bitch, a manipulative bastard, you name it they’ve probably called me it eventually. But now I don’t let people in as easily, I don’t fall for BS, and I have a couple of close friends who has been with me through thick and thin. 100 friends are nowhere close to 3 close friends. Nowhere close. 

My health & myself: I use to be that person where everyone is just like “She has such a big heart, she does so much” I remember begging my boyfriend to drive all the way to Gainesville just so I can regain the friendship of my ex best friend, I remember telling him not to complain or ask for gas money, I remember lending a bunch of different people money, I remember staying up until the AM listening to people’s problems. I also remember how foolish I was, to let everyone in so easily, to fill them in with every aspect of my life, to complain so much, to whine so much. But how in the world do you judge a girl who is just growing up in this cold world? Now, I am better. Now I understand more. Now I do not give my trust out like free samples at the mall, I do not whine, nor do I mope, I live each day as it will be my last. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m still struggling in a lot of other aspects but each day is a new learning opportunity and I’m ready to take it. 

I’m just so proud of myself. Proud of myself for having a job, a stable relationship, and surrounding myself with positive thinking. One day I’ll tell my children my success story and hope it’ll help them make it through life a little bit easier.. 

-Meliina 

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brasspistol:

every time I see this it gets reblogged

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Because I am not the type of
person someone falls in love with.

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